


Staycation (Harriscofest 2018 prompt fill)

by Android_And_Ale



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Gen, No animals were harmed in the making of this fic, Set right after 4x16, harrisco, harriscofest 2018, kitteh!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 16:30:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15538353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Android_And_Ale/pseuds/Android_And_Ale
Summary: Harriscofest 2018 prompt fill for "Harrisco turn into animals."In 4x16 when sleep deprived Cisco joked that he and Harry could protect the Bus Metas by turning them into animals, Harry was awfully quick to say, "Why not?"





	Staycation (Harriscofest 2018 prompt fill)

Barry was usually the last one to pull up a chair at STAR Labs staff meetings, but the rest of the team had been staring at their phones for nearly fifteen minutes when Cisco finally strolled in. His puffy eyes were bloodshot, Orphan Black Seestra shirt perforated with countless tiny holes, and his hair was more or less kept up in a messy bun held in place by a mix of grease pencils and used chopsticks. He casually stroked the tiny black kitten nestled in the crook of his arm.

“I’m sure you’re all wondering why I called you here.” Cisco’s voice rumbled at the bottom of his register.

“Oh hell no,” said Joe. “I told y’all it was just a matter of time before he went full supervillain.”

The tiny kitten stopped purring and hissed at Joe.

“Dad!” Iris whispered. Joe shrugged before crossing his arms. He stared at Cisco, daring the younger man to prove him wrong.

Cisco rolled his eyes. “This angry little guy is Harry.”

Iris cautiously reached out to stroke the kitten’s head. It looked dubious for a moment, but then grudgingly consented.  “Caitlin, I thought you spayed and neutered the last of the strays H.R. kept on the fourth floor,” she said.

The kitten’s spine arched as it’s eyes widened in horror. It clawed its way up Cisco’s shirt until it perched on his shoulder, body pressed against his neck as it tried to blend in with the locks that escaped from Cisco’s bun.

“Hey, little buddy! Nobody here’s touching your junk,” Cisco soothed. The kitten nuzzled it’s head against Cisco’s lightly stubbled cheek while continuing to glare at the rest of the room.

“I’ve got good news, weird news, and maybe useful news,” said Cisco. “But what I don’t have is breakfast.”

He shot Barry a desperate look. A quick breeze nearly blew the kitten off Cisco’s shoulder as Barry briefly disappeared in a flash of red then reappeared with a bag from Big Belly Burger. As soon as Cisco opened it up, the kitten leapt off his shoulder and into the bag.

“Hey!” Cisco snapped. “That egg and cheese croissant is bigger than you are!” He gently ripped open the bag to reveal the tiny black kitten walking in a possessive circle around the oversized croissant, glaring up at him as if willing to fight for it. Cisco took the hash browns.

“So the good news is we might have a way to hide the bus metas from The Thinker.”

The rest of Team Flash perked up. Cisco upended a nearby candy dish onto the table, poured a quarter of his black coffee into it, and pushed the bowl over so the kitten could reach it without leaving its perch atop the croissant. While Cisco topped up his cup with six hazelnut creamers, the kitten lapped up black coffee in between greedy bites of the croissant he was perched atop.

“The weird news is this little guy brought me three dead birds this morning,” said Cisco.

“Cats are well known for murdering any wildlife smaller than them,” said Caitlin.

“I saw those GoPro videos,” said Iris. “They don’t even eat the birds. They’re just assholes for the fun of it.”

Cisco glared at the kitten. “Checks out.”

He drained a third of the coffee. The kitten crawled up his sleeve and lapped the coffee laced creamer off Cisco’s upper lip. Cisco picked him up by the scruff of his neck and put him back on the massive croissant. The kitten curled up in the middle and contentedly took another bite from the edge.

“The bad news is the only person who knows how to reverse the process is currently a cat.”

Team Flash stared at the kitten. It winked at Joe.

“Wait,” said Joe. “When you called that kitten Harry…”

“I meant it literally.” Cisco stroked the back of the kitten’s head. It purred contentedly. “Earth 2’s STAR Labs has this awesome DNA editing tool that lets people take vacations as animals.”

Cisco booped Kitten Harry’s nose. “Dude, I so wanna spend a week at the Pampered Puppy Palace.” He connected his phone to the room’s Google Play and showed them screenshots from the Pampered Puppy Palace’s Earth 2 Instagram feed.

“How much?” asked Caitlin. “No. I don’t care. I’ll spend the rest of my life making wedding ice sculptures in exchange for one week as a pampered puppy.”

Iris looped an arm around Barry’s and kissed his shoulder. “Babe, if this is for real, I demand a second honeymoon. You’d make the cutest little golden retriever.”

“Before we pitch it at the bus metas I wanted to run some tests to make sure DaVoe wouldn’t be able to use their powers,” said Cisco.

“Um, then shouldn’t you be the one eating a croissant bigger than your body right now?” asked Caitlin.

“Oh, god. Now I just want a croissant I can sleep on.” Cisco’s eyes slowly glazed over as he stared down at the kitten’s literal bed and breakfast. Iris snapped her fingers in front of his face. Cisco jerked roughly, as though unexpectedly woken from a nap. One of the used chopsticks slid out of his hair and clattered noisily on the floor.

Cisco idly stroked Kitten Harry’s soft back. “When he suggested he go first, it made sense at the time?” He squinted at Kitten Harry, who avoided his gaze by lapping up more black coffee.

“I thought he’d turn into one of those creepy hairless Sphynx cats.” Cisco pushed his glasses up his nose. “Maybe I accidentally went full Jeff Goldblum on him, except instead of having his DNA merged with a fly he’s now permanently part ratty black sweater?”

“Sounds legit,” said Iris.

The kitten nipped Cisco’s fingertip.

“So how do we turn him back?” asked Caitlin.

Iris removed a dangly gold earring and held it in front of the kitten. Harry’s eyes sparkled as he batted at it. “If you ask me the real question is whether we should get him back.” The kitten made hard eye contact with Iris as he hopped off his breakfast croissant and struggled to push one of Cisco’s hashbrowns in her direction.

Barry leaned over, chin level on the table. “Did he just wink at you?” Kitten Harry’s tiny claws raked across his nose.

Cisco picked Harry up with a sigh and put him back on top of the croissant. “I’m all out of ideas. I don’t know how this tech works, much less whether it’ll mask metas from DaVoe.”

Caitlin scratched Kitten Harry’s belly, cooing as his little paws tried to capture her fingers.

“Don’t break your brain,” said Joe. “Call Jesse. She’ll straighten him out.”

Kitten Harry rolled onto his paws, back arched high, and hissed at Joe.

Cisco pulled the frayed collar of his shirt aside to reveal a trio of shallow scratches.  “How do you think I got these?”

“I try not to think about what y’all do on your own time,” Joe muttered.

“I hate to say it, but if this is going to help then we really do need to try it on a meta,” said Barry.

Cisco and Caitlin both raised their hands. “I volunteer as tribute,” said Caitlin. Cisco shot her an approving nod as his hand folded into a fist. She bumped it with pride.

“Alright, Harry. Your staycation’s over.” Joe reached for the kitten. It flattened against the croissant, feinted a roll to the left, then leapt off the table and dashed away at near lightning speed.

Wind whipped Cisco’s hair into his face as Barry disappeared. Seconds later he returned holding the kitten by its scruff. It writhed in his hand, struggling to reach behind its own head to scratch its way to freedom.

Iris quickly scribbled a note explaining the situation and tied it around Kitten Harry’s neck.

“You brought this on yourself, man.” Cisco sighed and opened a tiny, kitten sized breach just under Barry’s hand. Barry dropped Kitten Harry through it.

Cisco stared at the cat hair covered croissant sandwich. After a few seconds he shrugged and took a hearty bite.

“How long do you think it’ll take…” Iris began.

The breach alert briefly blared through the building before being silenced by Jesse’s code. A stack of brochures appeared on the table beneath a rage filled kitten, fur puffed out to make it nearly twice its original size. They heard faint echoes of laughter as Jesse sped away.

Harry landed a scratch as Barry quickly unfastened the reply note from Kitten Harry’s neck. The slick paper underneath him included dated pictures of Kitten Harry wearing a pirate eyepatch, a captain’s hat, a tiny pair of fairy wings, and one with a disproportionately spiked collar where he was playing with a ball of barbed wire. Cisco slid that one into his pocket while Barry read the note.

 

_‘He knows damn well this won’t help with your meta problem. Guys, I’ve got a packed schedule of board meetings. He’s your problem this week. Give him his body weight in catnip, a third cup of coffee, and a Big Belly Burger daily. See you next Tuesday._

 

_\- J -_

 

_P.S. I expect videos.’_


End file.
